Well, look at this. I dont think anyone reads it anymore. Thats okay though. Seclusion is nice.

I was reading my old one. Lots of stuff. I suppose apathy's more of a semiantidrug now though. Whatever floats my boat.

I lost something I never had
because someone took it from me
and I want it back
but what am I to say
to that something I never had.

I'm going to fucking rip that stupid ass mother fuckers throat out! God fucking damnit! I am so FUCKING SICK OF PEOPLE WALKING ALL THE FUCK OVER ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW I WONT SAY ANYTHING. *sigh* And I never will, so this is pointless.

Everything is pointless, think about it. What awaits us after we've makes millions of dollars with your model wives and happy endings...? You. fucking. die. Who cares how you live your life when you just end up six fuckin' feet under anyway? Pain is a brick, and imagine pleasant moments as a feather. One painful moment can out weigh 100 happy ones. What are you going to remember 30 years from now? Hm? Are you going to remember how your Mom neglected you and everyone kicked you around, or are you going to remember 100 times you got an A on a paper? Guess, take a fucking guess.

Are you going to remember you pushed that gun up to your head, mutter a final 'you'll all be sorry' or 'fuck you' that no one will ever hear, and pull the trigger? Fuck no. You're dead. You're sprawled out across the floor, one of your eyes on the wall across the room from your skull, thats now in sevral different places, your brain, a path of pink peices into your eternity of nothing.

Just one of those days you wanna curl up and die, right? Exactly.

I don't know why she did it. She knew it would fucking hurt me...it doesent matter. They'll both keep kicking me around and pretending I'm their little fucking lackie anyway, so it dosen't matter. Nothing matters. Fuck it.

Now if you'll pardon me, I feel like shit, so I'm going to go rot in pitty. Whoo.

Oh, my KoRn obsession came back. Apparantly, when something really really bad happens, KoRn makes my eyes discharge salty water. How strange. Fucking human functions.

Everything is pointless.